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Centerville Chicken War
Recorded by Deb Shaw

Dateline: Centreville, Maryland - 15 September 2003

Mums the Word
War has broken out in Centreville where the French ex-patriot Cuckoo Marans have invaded the neighboring country of the Dixon's yard.

Sources indicate that General Shaw has led skirmishes into the Dixon's yard several times over the weekend and again this morning in an attempt to drive the Marans back into their own territory. Although Shaw's forces have accomplished several complete routes, each time the troops are withdrawn back to their own side of the border, the Marans troops wait until things quiet down and once again attempt to invade and take over.

Backing for the French troops is being supplied by a group of rowdy young Leghorns who originated in Italy but had been living a peaceful existence at Shaw's Pond until General Shaw's main aide-de-camp, The Peepinator, was lost in other action.
Elder stateschickens from the Leghorn Valley insist that these youngsters are merely a group of upstarts being negatively influenced by the Marans. They deny any support for the invasion.

Colonel Fluffernutter sounds the alarm whenever Marans troops attempt to slip into the Dixon's yard, but unfortunately, the force isn't large enough to stop the incursions.

General Shaw may be addressing this group later in the week to request $87 billion in humanitarian aid for the Dixon's gardens and to build a wall between the two countries. Sources close to the general confide that she isn't very hopeful of raising the money but is very determined that the frequent incursions into the Dixon's yard will cease in the very near future.

This is Chick Crowmeister reporting from Centerville. Stay tuned for further reports in the near future. We now return you to your regularly scheduled viagara email.


Dateline: Centreville, Maryland - 16 September 2003

Pass It On
A demonstration was held outside the walls of the Evil Land POW camp today. The ex-patriot marans and malcontent leghorns were demanding the release of political prisoner, Colonel Gemini, who has been held without bond since early last week. Col. Gemini had been instrumental in the early days of border crossings by the rebels. Other rebels, identified as PFC Trixter and PFC Rufus, are also being held on related charges despite nearly continuous outcries of their innocence in the matter.

During the near-riot, two innocent ducklings, identified as Ping and Piddysing Pekin, were nearly swept up in the chaos but were rescued at the last moment by a surprise rescue mission led by General Shaw and Colonel Fluffernutter. No serious injuries were reported but General Shaw was reported to have been completely covered in mud.

Sources report that Agent Black of the Shaw's Pond Secret Police (SPSP), AKA Mrs. B has defected to the side of the rebels and is undertaking solitary missions into the forbidden zone of the Dixon's Yard scouting for hidden food sources.
General Shaw's new aid-de-camp, Col. Fluffernutter, is at a loss to explain the defection. His recent plan to contact the foreign dignitaries living in The House by loudly broadcasting through the window has so far failed to achieve any results. Complicating matters in this area is the apparent switch in loyalty of Master Sergeant Rocky of the main Shaw's Pond army who has been seen consorting with the rebels.

The contingent from the Leghorn Valley has been calling for formal inquiries into the Colonel's apparent failures in gleaning information from the SPSP intelligence reports.

This is Chick Crowmeister reporting from a secret location with a forward unit of the Centerville Militia. Stay tuned for further reports in the near future.


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